Nothing of what is on the horizon is bad stuff. Mostly it's good or "just life". There are some big expenses coming up - things like wisdom teeth and paying tuition for the studies Chris and I have committed to and paying for the Certified Teacher Gathering and paying out for travel support for the boys (We are buying them tickets on the Trans-Siberian Railway from London to China and then connecting lines from there to India!).
And on the other end of the energy flow is the work commitments I've made - (teaching - writing - business)- that i will be making good on. All of that will take lots of time and energy and sustained whole-heartedness.
I understand that my constitution is primarily pitta (the fire constitution in Ayurveda) Pitta types like to manage energy - to move it. And that is what I will be doing this Spring and Summer.....moving a lot of work energy - from me doing the work - turning it into energy as money - to me moving that energy back out in the form of payments. What could make a pitta person happier!
So why the anxiety? It is not my typical pattern. I've always been either naive or brave or both - and just said "Yes" and leaped. But for some reason, this week, I decided to worry.
I understand that as we get older the air element (vata) increases and we are more prone to worry. I definitely see this in my wonderful worry-wart of a dad. The Mind is vata - and no surprise: it's my mind that has been doing the worrying - even if the results get transferred to body and heart.
I do find that I can settle the internal winds (vata) of anxiety and worry by staying in my body, putting my mind into the service of my Heart, and getting to work. And to remind myself, I made a check list:
- Keep saying YES
- Do your work
- All you need to know is the next step