The heart can think of
no devotion,
Greater than being
shore to the ocean,
Holding the curve of
one position,
Counting an endless
repetition. ~~~Robert Frost
Like
everyone else, I began my time on the planet rounded into the oceanic shoreline
of my mother’s womb. The way the Yoga tradition teaches it, “I” was breathed
into being from the greater Ocean of One Heart to the inner ocean of my mother’s
womb. Fractals - all the way down and
all the way up.
In
that interior ocean it was dark with a steady pulse of heartbeat and breath
from my mother, the tides of her circulation ebbing and flowing around me.
Then
whoosh, the ocean breathed out and I breathed in and found myself - a packet of ocean water - on dry land,
in bright light and beginning the work it would take to be a land dweller, an individual,
building my own unique shore to the ocean.
Because
of the way things are, I regularly forget the Ocean in the hard work of being
the shore. And – because of the way things are – I get a regular call from the Ocean
to remember – to align with the tides and bring my individual life into greater
harmony with universal good. Yoga has been the most powerful way that this ongoing
call has gotten through to me, making sure the call keeps coming in until I
pick up. And on the other end of the line is the Ocean Herself, calling me to remind me that there is much more that than just the inland fortress of my embodied, individuated life; calling me to visit my Mother, to stand at the Ocean's edge. Or – as the Tao Te Ching so beautifully puts
it, to “Return to the Mother, to Source”.
I
answer this call imperfectly. Sometimes I am “too busy” and ignore it altogether.
But when I do answer, (by, for example, stopping my work life and spending time on my Yoga mat or meditation cushion or out in nature) I feel an incredible, whole-body relief. As Mary Oliver
writes in her poem “At the Ocean’s Edge”, I
know this sound, saith the body. At the Ocean’s edge I can remember that I
am part of a greater whole, that I cannot do my embodied life on dry land alone,
nor am I meant to do it alone.
It
is strong practice to be a shoreline while also remembering the Ocean. (one of
the terms for this type of practice is “Non-dual tantra"; or "Enlightened duality"). To be pulled by
the tide to remember Source - that which is greater than my individual self - means
I must make some necessary sacrifices, surrender some preferences and my comforts. But/ And… to be alive and embodied here on the dry land of planet earth, means
I must HOLD to this life, including holding on to some life affirming preferences
(which include comfort and pleasure). It’s not one thing or the other. It’s both.
It’s a breathing. I continue to breathe in with a holding on to life and my
piece of shoreline, to people and places I love. And I continue to breathe out.
To surrender my individual breath to universal breath.
Finally and in the long run of this life of mine, I hope to become increasingly awake and intentionally vulnerable to those times
when there is shifting sand under my feet, and rather than reinforce the shore
line, to let it go – to return to the Mer and swim in the fluid freedom of the
Ocean (while still keeping my eyes on the shore…. for now).
Mary Oliver sums it up – as she always does so well:
“To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go”
Loved this. Deep bow. ����
ReplyDeleteIt's always nourishing to return to your writing. Again and again, it refreshes body, mind and heart with the vibrancy of practice with devotion. ♥
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